Finals

Last day at the old desk. The ride has been a brief and hairied one.

The Professional stopped calling a few weeks ago. Which both Nicole and I found troublesome. Hopefully she made the move to Califronia she had been talking about.

My direct boss (we'll call her Secretariat, because she's one hell of a work horse) is being moved to the front desk. But she's keeping most of her responsibilities. Which is bullshit. She's been here over a decade.

Ending the year and ending the job seem coalesce nicely, for some reason. A very clean break with a year that, for me at least, was pretty terrible.

About a week or two after the layoff, I was offered another job at the station. But in speaking with HR today in turns out my transfer is not yet approved. My keys must be returned.

If anything happens, I'll let you know. Until then adieu, adieu. Remember me.


GHOST
... Fare thee well at once.
The glow-worm shows the matin to be near
And 'gins to pale his ineffectual fire.
Adieu, adieu, adieu! Remember me.

Hamlet I.v

NYE

All week (actually maybe the last 10 days) I've been getting calls from prizewinners asking about our new years eve hours so they can claim their prize.

Total prizewinners in today:

2

New Program Director

Aaron: [Standard Greeting.]

No Sports Please: Are you a sports station now?
A: No...
NSP: You're broadcasting sports.
A: Occasionally we do broadcast local sports games.
NSP: But you can get sports anywhere.
A: Uh, I guess so.
NSP: I want to listen to [policitical talk radio program].
A: Well, it appears we're broadcasting a game.
NSP: Why?
A: I don't know.
NSP: Why don't you know?
A: Because I don't make the programming decisions.
NSP: Well, you should.
A: Ha! Ok, well you talk to the people at the top about that.
NSP: No, it's true.

(click.)

Most Fruitless Call Ever

Aaron: [Standard greeting.]
I Do Know: Hi.
A: [Standard greeting.]
IDN: Did I win?
A: Are you tring to reach the studio?
IDN: I was trying to win the contest.
A: Ok, then you need to call the studio line.
IDN: Ok.
A: Do you have the number?
IDN: Yes.
A: Ok.
IDN: ...
A: So you have that number?
IDN: Yes.
A: Ok... bye.

Click.

IF YOU HAVE THE NUMBER FOR THE STUDIO WHY ARE YOU CALLING THIS LINE?

Sick

Memo (I Wish I Could Write) to All Employees:

Don't walk around work without your shoes on. That's fucking disgusting.


- Aaron

Quiet

This prizewinner had several things working against her:
1) she was one of those that, despite the fact the station she won with is always called by it's call letters, adds vowels and stretches it into a word. Which is stupid and confusing.
2) she was unclear exactly where she was.
3) when I address her to see what she's arrived for, she does not respond with her business with the station.

Aaron: So go ahead and fill out both of these sheets and then the highlighted sections on this page.
(starts filling out paperwork)
Chipper McPrizewinner: (after filling out first page) Do I have to fill out this page?
A: Yes.
C McP: And this page?
A: Yes.
C McP: Well you're not with it this morning are you?
A: ... It's... early... I guess.
C McP: No it's not.
A: Mmmmhmmm.
C McP: It's quiet in here.
A: ...
C McP: Oh no! You're going to know how old I am.
A: ...
C McP: It's quiet in here.
A: ...
C McP: Ok, there we go I think that's everything.
A: Can you fill out this section here?
C McP: There we go.
A: Thanks.
C McP: It's quiet in here.
A: There's actually a radio playing right there behind you.
C McP: Yeah, I can't hear that. It's too quiet in here. I'm used to lots of noise. I can't hear that.
A: Alright thanks for coming in!
C McP: (starts to go, comes back) When can I win again?
A: 30 days.
C McP: Alright, see you then.
A: (heavy sigh) Yep.

Sympathy Pains

I had assumed I (well, the both of us really) would have been included in the mass email proclaiming the loss of Nicole and I. I must have assumed wrong. The sympathies are starting to pour in, not to mention the outrage at the injustice as well as the utter confusion as to how/why the people upstairs came to this decision, but I have received no such email.

It begins...

-Aaron

Dead Men Tell No Tales

So Nicole and I received notice that our final day at the front desk will December 31st, 2009. We were told at the beginning of the week but the official email is being sent out today, Friday. Specifically "late" Friday.

I can't say I'm especially worked up about the whole thing. Answering phones, refilling creamers, and buzzing doors is not something to which one gets especially attached. But most of the people were pretty cool. Most. Anyway. Being unemployed is no big deal. I've done it before and considering the recession and everything no employer really frowns on the fact you've been cashing Unemployment Checks. What I am NOT looking forward to is the frowns and the sympathy and the "what on earth will you do's" that I know I will get from every single employee who passes through this lobby from now until the end of the year.

In perhaps the greatest status shift since I arrived at this job, the person responsible for the decision will not look me in the eye. Coward.

You May Have Already Won

In case you've ever wondered what happens when you win a prize at a radio station allow me to pull back the curtain on this elusive mystery and enlighten you with the thrilling details.


You will recieve a phone call from Promotions, probably from an intern or an employee who only works a few hours a week, informing you that you won. They will tell you to come down to the station so you can pick up your prize and fill out a little bit of paperwork (picture ID required).

And now allow me to answer your questions before you ask them.

No, if you didn't receive a phone call or an email, I'm sorry but you didn't win. Surprisingly, Promotions doesn't spend a lot of time contacting to tell them they lost a contest.

No, we don't need all that paperwork. We just like watching you fill it out. Are you kidding me? Besides, it's only 2 pages!?! Basically you're signing a contract that says you're receiving the prize and you're now responsible for it. Oh, and that you won't sue us. That and a W-9 for tax purposes.

No, we're not going to make you pay taxes on a prize. The government is going to make you pay taxes on a prize. And only if you win $600 worth of prizes in the course of a year. So you'd have to win $50 in prizes per month to be forced to pay taxes. Most prizes are DVD's or a pair of concert tickets and you're only allowed to win once every 30 days with any given station so it's pretty tough to do. Don't get me wrong people still do it. It's just that you have to really try to win $600 worth of prizes in the course of a year.

Yes, we really need your social security number. It's for the IRS paperwork you're filling out right now.

Quote of the Day

A listener calls to voice their dissatisfaction regarding the new program lineup.

"I'm trying to think of a more eloquent way to say this... but I can't. You guys are trippin'."

-Aaron

EMS on All the Streets

Aaron: [Standard Greeting]
Doc: Yes.
A: [Standard Greeting]
Doc: This is Dr. Schaffer.
A: (very long pause) Ok.
Doc: And I have detected EMS on... well all the streets. In Seattle.
A: All right... I'm afraid I don't know what EMS is.
Doc: Well, I'd be willing to come on TV and explain it.
A: Well, you called a radio station.
Doc: Huh?
A: Only radio stations are located in this building not TV.
Doc: No TV?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Do you have their number?
A: No.
Doc: You don't have their number?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Ok. Sorry to bother you.

(Click.)

The only thing that I could think of that EMS might stand for was Emergency Medical Services, as in ambulances, which if ambulances are on the streets doesn't seem like a big deal or bad thing unless they're transporting people who are sick or injured. But even then those people are getting medical care. But the Doc's tone was one you might use if the zombie apocalypse was starting outside. On a whim I looked up EMS and the only medical things I could find were Electrical Muscle Stimulation (a method of training to complement traditional training), Equine Metabolic Sundrome (which affects horses), and Eosinophili-myalgia (an incurable and sometimes fatal flu-like neurological condition).

Hopefully he's a crackpot and it wasn't that last one.

It's Important to Remember Who Sorts the Mail

One of my daily tasks is to sort and deliver mail to designated mail slots. For the most part this is relatively uneventful as most of it is business mail or advertisements. But occasionally personal mail rolls through. This is also typically uneventful; a magazine here, a periodical there, a personal letter every so often. But lately I have noticed a good deal of Victoria's Secret catalogs coming to one person in particular.

Let's call her Victoria.

To be fair to Victoria she's not bad, so it's not weird or gross. But it is intriguing. In absolute, TMI, full disclosure there are a number of cougars who roam the office. Disproportionately than any other workplace I have been in, which makes one wonder about a number of things among them HR. But returning to the subject at hand, I can't help but be very curious about this cat.

Highway to Where?

Aaron: [Standard Greeting.]
Pastor: Hi, yes, I would like to speak to the person in charge of putting the music on the radio?
A: Excuse me?
P: Who is in charge of your music? The Music Director?
A: Ok, what is this regarding?
P: The song Highway to Hell was played.
A: All right.
P: And I am offended.
A: Ok.
P: I'm a pastor and my son was singing the song when I picked him up from school. He was with another family and they went to a pizza place. He heard your song somewhere. And now he's singing it.
A: Ok, well I'm not sure what to tell you.
P: I'm a Christian. You understand? This song offends me. I don't want my son singing it. Or listening to your music.
A: Alright, well, I suppose you would want to speak the Program Director (this is true) but they are in a meeting (not true) but I can put you through to her voicemail (also true).
P: Ok. Let's do that. But I am offended.

I Had This Conversation at the Urinals

DJ: How's the front desk, Aaron?
Aaron: Fine. A lot of people calling without anything to say.
DJ: Same thing on the Request Line.

(Flush.)

It's comforting to know (in perhaps a sympathetic way) that the stupidity of humanity permeates the lives of those who deal with the public without special discretion.

I Make Great Mix CD's

Aaron: [Standard Greeting.]
DJ of the Future: Hi. I wanted to know about getting my playlist on the air.
A: You'll want to call the Request Line. I can give you the num-
DJotF: No, I want my playlist.
A: I guess, I don't know what you mean.
DJotF: Like my radio station.
A: Oh.
DJotF: Can you tell me how to do that?
A: Well, I don't really have any information about that.
DJotF: Well how would I go about getting a radio station?
A: I'm not sure. I suppose you'd have to contact the FCC about getting the license to broadcast on a specific frequency.
DJotF: Do you have their number?
A: Ummm, not off hand. But I bet if you go to their website, they should list contact info.
DJotF: Hmmm. Ok. Thank you.

(click.)

CFG =/= Dead

She just walked by. Twice. And the sickening smug look on her face as I buzzed made me sick.


- Aaron

Cash for Fired?

I haven't seen CFG in days. Vacation? Or Firing?

One can only hope for the best.


- Aaron

The mail comes twice. It comes in the afternoon between 11 and 1 and it also comes after everyone leaves. In the morning when I walk in there's usually a mail bin with less than a dozen or so letters tucked neatly behind the door or under the front desk coutner.

Today when I walked in there was a bin with the following note:

There is no MAIL today, Empty P.O. Box.
it happens once in while. Thanks.
- Postal Express

I wish I could tell Postal Express that I really wasn't upset. I don't really care. Why even leave a bin?

I'm half tempted to leave a bin with a note for Postal Express that says,

Thank you kindly for the note. Currently in the 2nd Stage of Grief: Anger.

Cordially Yours,
Front Desk



-Aaron

Shortest Conversation with The Professional Ever

Aaron: [Standard Greeting.]
The Professional: I knew it. I'll get a coffee and you will too.
Aaron: Ok.

(Click.)

The What Bar?

I received 5 calls in a row where either no one spoke or their phone had no reception. Based on this man's ability to deal with technology I can only imagine when we finally spoke, it was his 6th attempt to call the station.

Aaron: (Standard Greeting.)
Internet Troubles: Hi ummmm, yeah. You guys just played six songs in a row about 25 minutes ago and I'm wondering what the names of the songs were. The first one said something about...
A: Ok, you can find our playlists online. Just go to yes.com/(call letters of the station).
IT: Oh ok.
A: Yep.
IT: So I just go there?
A: Yes.
IT: All right thank you.

(click.)

A: (Standard Greeting.)
IT: Hi yeah. We were talking earlier, you guys played six songs in a row about 30 minutes ago and I'm wondering what the names.
A: Yes, you need to go online. To-
IT: Yes.
A: Uh, yeah to yes.com/(call letters of the station).
IT: Ok, I did that.
A: Ok so it'll show a TV screen and some icons, click on the icon that's for the past seven days, then it shoudl come up on today. If it doesn't click today and then there's a scroller on the right side of the screen. It's hard to tell but it's there.
IT: Ok. So...
A: There should be a TV-
IT: I see links to Yahoo, Google-
A: No above that. There should be an image of a TV. On the left side of the TV screen there's six icons. Click on the one that looks like a clock.
IT: Uh-huh... Ok, so I'm on my wife's page.
A: What?
IT: I'm on her My Way page.
A: Ok, you need to type the web address I gave you into the address bar.
IT: Is that gonna mess up my wife's page?
A: No.
IT: So just type it?
A: Yes.
IT: Ok... Alright I got "Top Google Results..." The first one-
A: Ok, I think you typed it into a search bar of some kind.
IT: Which one do I click on.
A: None of them. Do you see near the top where it says "http, colon, slash, slash?"
IT: Uh-huh.
A: Ok, click on it.
IT: What?
A: You need to type the address there. So click where it says all that.
IT: All right.
A: And delete it.
IT: DELETE IT?
A: Yes.
IT: Are you sure? Delete it?
A: Yeah. Don't worry it's fine.
IT: All right.
A: Now type in yes.com/(call letters of the station).
IT: Y-E-S-DOT-C-O-M-SLASH-(NAME OF STATION)
A: No, yes.com/(call letters).
IT: Oh. Wait. Ok. Wait. (CALL LETTER)-(CALL LETTER)-(CALL LETTER)-(CALL LETTER).
A: See the TV screen?
IT: No. It says Bing. Bing Results are...
A: Ok that's not right either. I think you searched again. What browser are you using?
IT: What?
A: What are you using to get on the internet? Is it Internet Explorer?
IT: I don't know.
A: Ok, do you see an area at the top where it says "Address?"
IT: No.
A: No?
IT: No.
A: ...
IT: I don't know what you're tlaking about. Maybe I need to get my wife to help me out?
A: Maybe that's the best idea.
IT: Yeah, cause I don't really know what I'm doing.
A: Yeah, I would say ask you wife.

Dropped two calls helping this internet-illiterate.

She Wasn't on My List

Aaron: [Standard Greeeting]
I Didn't Win: Hi, yes, can you tell me who won the Country Jamboree Contest.
A: I don't really have that information.
IDW: Why not?
A: Well, this is the reception desk for multiple radio stations here and they don't send us the names of people who won contests.
IDW: Well it was a big contest. I was one of the eight finalists.
A: Oh wait, you know what I think they did send out something abotu this contest... It looks like Becky from Springfield won.
IDW: Mmmmmkay. She wasn't on my list.
A: Well I don't know what to tell you. She won.
IDW: Ok. Well thanks for nothing.

Crack a Beer?

The Professional has been calling a lot lately and it can be really depressing to talk to her. There was a lot of drama over the past couple days as to whether or not she would have to move to California. Someone put a For Sale sign outside her place, "business" is drying up, she was getting into fights and drinking more. But this little nugget was gold. I learned in a few earlier calls and from Nicole most of the problems have been resolved, she sounded happy, and this is far and away the shortest call I've ever taken from her.

Aaron: [Standard greeting.]
The Professional: I gotta keep my calls shorter.
A: Uh-huh.
TP: Why don't you crack a beer tonight?
A: I think I will.

(click.)

S-U-C-C-E-S-S That's the Way You Spell Success

Take that Cash For Gold.

I finally did it. I buzzed CFG but by the time she put her hand on the knob the door re-locked. It was so glorious. Words cannot describe the elation I am experiencing right now.

This event has taught me two things.
1) This buzz-to-re-lock timing is very difficult. The door stays unlocked for a good deal of time. Easily enough to give someone time to walk all the way across the lobby.
2) This means you need to buzz THE VERY MOMENT someone walks through either door.
3) Without being able to see the person coming down the hall through the window in the door it's neraly impossible.
4) You can only see down the hall via one door.

I must be satisfied doing this on the one door this is possible. But I will strive on for the other.

Goonies never say die.

- Aaron

Cash For Gold Can't Weigh Her Own Packages

This post is sort of self explanatory based on the title but regardless. CFG made me leave the desk to help her weigh a package in the mailroom. This means one of two things.

1) Either Cash for Gold is too dumb to way a package.
2) Or too lazy to take it to a post office.

Sigh.

- Aaron

LeAnn Rimes Doesn't Work Here

I think it should be noted that, while there's no way to tell for sure, the caller sounded like an middle aged man. A pathetic, stupid middle aged man.

Aaron: [Standard greeting.]
Caller: Hi. Yes. So I'm wondering if you can help me-... I-... Maybe you could connect me with-... I don't even know what department this would be...
A: Ok. Well what's the question?
C: Well about a year ago I won tickets with your station to a LeAnn Rimes concert.
A: Uh-huh.
C: And afterwards I was fortunate enough to go backstage and meet her. We had a great conversation.
A: I see.
C: And we took pictures together.
A: All right.
C: So she's coming back to town for a concert, and I would like to go backstage again.
A: Well-
C: And I want her to autograph the photos.
A: Ok, well no one here is going to be able to help you out with that.
C: Why not?
A: Because we don't have access to LeAnn Rimes.
C: What do you mean?
A: Well this is just a radio station.
C: I know.
A: You're going to have to contact LeAnn Rimes' agent or manager or something along those lines.
C: Well do you have that number?
A: No. You might try looking online at LeAnn Rimes' website to see if she has a business contact information. That's probably your best shot.
C: Can't you just get me backstage at the concert again.
A: That wasn't organized by us. It was probably organized by the promoters or the producers of the concert.
C: But don't you have like an in?
A: With LeAnn Rimes?
C: Yeah.
A: No.
C: But you play her music.
A: Yeah, it's a radio station. We have license to play her music but we don't necessarily have access to her as an artist.
C: So what am I supposed to do? I really want to get these photos signed.
A: Well you can go to the concert and see if you can get backstage or you can try and contact people who DO have access to her as an artist like her manager or agent.

At this point we circled back around to the "no one here can help you with that" portion of the conversation and continued through to the end. Maybe twice. Maybe three times. Towards the end I think he was just as frustrated with me as I was with him and so he said goodbye and I said good riddance.

-Aaron

More cash.

Cash For Gold is livin' it up today, dressed in a new Nordie's sweater, complete with sunglasses inside and some gold flats. She caught me heading into the mailroom today and decided it was ok to ask me to turn around and go back out to the lobby, just so i could buzz her through the other door.

Some Classics

Decided to post a few classics, from when I started working here almost a year ago:


Nicole: (standard greeting)

In The Dark: Can you put out a PSA? (pause)

N: Sure –

ITD: Tell them to turn their lights on.

N: I’m sorry?

ITD: I’m driving in Ballard and I almost got in an accident because someone didn’t
have their lights.

N: Oh. Yikes. Sorry.

ITD: Can you pass that on?

N: …Sure.

ITD: Thanks bye. (click)

-------------------

Nicole: (standard greeting)

A Bit Confused: Hi My name is Mary. Um…I guess I’m a bit confused. I called yesterday about the same thing. But um…Your station plays Britney Spears music quite a bit. And I just think it does a disservice to God’s children. I really am against it.

N: Oh. Ok.

ABC: I just uh…I don’t want my kids listening to that. I mean, I let them listen to your station, I’m not a prude. But I was wondering if they’d take requests? To not play it?

N: I’m sure they would, since they take requests to play songs, I’m sure they’d take a request to not play songs. I’ll give you the studio number.

ABC: Thank you. I just think it’s a real disservice to god’s children.

-------------------------

Memorable quote: "They've all got nice haircuts like the republican youth. I support that show."

Come Right In! No, seriously.

The following conversations took place on Wednesday, Sept. 9th, 2009 at 4:35 PM.
The names are changed to protect the stupid. And our location.

Nicole: (standard greeting)

Lost But Found: Hi. We're trying to find you guys?

N: Ok. Where are you?

LBF: On Main Street?

N: Ok, that's our street. Where on Main Street are you?

LBF: We're at 5555 Main Street?

N: That's where we are.

LBF: And we don't know where you guys are at? Cause there's a big building in the way.

N: (pause) The building with the 5555 on it?

LBF: Yeah...it's this big brick thing.

N: That's...that's us. That's where we are.

LBF: I can't see you guys.

N: Ok. Go inside. We're...inside the building.

I just am interested in what they thought we should look like. Any ideas? A stereo shaped structure? To be fair, it's an unmarked bland looking building except for the large 5555 Main Street on the front of it. Who knew that'd be where they wanted?

So they arrive inside and I learn quickly that their drive from (far away destination) has left the woman in need of a restroom. I tell her she'll need to go upstairs one floor by elevator.

LBF: Ok. Upstairs. Up these stairs? (points to the stairs in they lobby that won't go where she needs to go)

N: No. Those elevators right out there.

LBF: Can't I just go up these stairs? (she begins to just go up these stairs)

N: No. They don't go where you need to go. You'll need to go out to that lobby and take one of the elevators up to the second floor.

LBF: Ok. (begins to leave to do so) So...up to the...

N: Second floor.

LBF: And this is the...

N: We're on the first floor. Just go in and press the 2 in the elevator.

I'm happy to say, she made it to the restroom. When she came back and was filling out paperwork to claim her prize, she couldn't answer the question of what contest had she played.

N: Oh, that's ok. No one ever remembers that.

Her teenage son, who had been quiet this whole time and seated in one of the chairs in the lobby, looks up and adds:

Teenage Son: ...Be the right caller?

Which...to me...I mean what other radio contests are there?


This woman won a fly fishing pole and they carried it out of the place not fully understanding what it was, or how to hold it. I couldn't help but flash forward to them on their very first fishing trip:

LBF: We tried to catch somethin' but there were all these FISH in the way!

I won a prize, Mother...

Anthony Perkins came in just now and claimed some concert tickets. That scared me. Then I looked at his driver's license and it had a hole punched through it. Do they do that for murders as well as DUI's?

More fun names I've encountered:

Janet Hiney
Michelle Runswithwolves
Tyler Butts
Matthew Sugarbaker

That last one made me want cookies as well as some Designing Women episodes.


~Nicole

Cash For Gold

So Nicole might better be able to elucidate the details of a woman who I simply refer to as Cash For Gold. As I understand it, sometime ago she started a business which is pretty much the same as the real Cash For Gold scam. It must be doing well though, because she's part-time now and wears gaudy clothing.

From our desk there are two visible entrances to the studios and offices. Both require keycards. However one working the front desk can press a button which automatically buzzes and unlocks either door.

Once upon a time Cash For Gold used to be like everyone else. CFG would carry a keycard for entry but would offer a kindly word of appreciation if buzzed without request. Since the business-on-the-side took off though, no keycards have been carried by CFG and she will wait with her hand on the door until you buzz her through. Sometimes not even having the decency to look at you. And also without regard for what you may already be busy with.

Today I was roaming one of the office areas, running an errand of some kind, when I passed Cash For Gold. She was clearly on her way from one side of the offices to the other which would require the use of a keycard. Upon seeing me she slowed her walk to a snail's pace, waited for me to finish my errand, re-enter the reception area, and get to the buzzer buttons, all the while her hand at handle of the opposite door.

Not always saying thank you is really no biggie. Forgetting your keycard is understandable. It's pretty shitty to silently demand you are buzzed through. But it takes real gall to wait until the receptionist returns, so you can be buzzed through and then not even have the decency to show any kind of appreciation whatsoever.


At the moment, I'm trying to learn the timing of the buzzer, so I can unlock the door only to have it re-lock as she reaches for the handle.

Victory will be mine, Cash For Gold. Victory. Will. Be. Mine.

-Aaron

Baseball Games Are Not Talk Radio.

Aaron: [Standard Greeting]
Caller: You didn't play the Hank Thompson Show* yesterday.
A: Oh, I'm sorry.
C: You played the baseball game.
A: Ok.
C: So what's the deal?
A: I'm afraid I don't understand the question.
C: Why didn't you play the Hank Thompson Show yesterday?
A: Well, it sounds like we were broadcasting the baseball game.
C: What about Hank Thompson?
A: What do you mean?
C: What's happening to his show?
A: Well, he's not even recorded at this station. So I can't really tell you that.
C: Are you cancelling Hank Thompson?
A: As far as I know, there is no change in our broadcast schedule.
C: Are you phasing out Hank Thompson?
A: As far as I know, there is no change in our broadcast schedule.
C: Well I missed yesterday's episode.
A: I'm very sorry about that.
C: Well, how can I listen to it?
A: Well, if you go to the station's website, Hank Thompson's website, or maybe iTunes I bet you could download the podcast.
C: I live in the 1950's. I don't have a computer.**
A: Do you have any access to the internet?
C: No, I live in the 1950's.
A: You couldn't even go to an internet cafe?
C: No.
A: Then I really don't know what to tell you.
C: Are you going to re-broadcast yesterday's episode.
A: Probably not.
C: How am I suppose to listen to it then?
A: Well, if you're not willing to get a computer or access to the internet in some way I think you're out of luck.
C: Well- well- I'm not happy about this. I hope during the next baseball game you broadcast Hank Thompson.

(click.)

*The name of the show is not the Hank Thompson show. But the names have been changed to protect the inncocent.
** I would like to note this line of dialogue is verbatim.

-Aaron

The "Professional"

This is the first of many entries regarding our lady of the hour, a woman we will call, for purposes only to honor her character, "The Professional."

I feel that the following conversation was a way to test the waters, to see if we were worth calling back. Apparently our temperature was just right.

The Professional: It certainly turned out to be a beautiful day.

Nicole: Yes it has

TP: And it’s gonna be a beautiful night too.

N: Probably. Did you have a question, or can I connect you to someone…?

TP: Wouldn’t it be a sin if you decided to go out tonight and have a couple of drinks and a puff puff of a smoke?


I didn't know what to say so I hung up on her.
This was my first "Crazy Caller" after starting this job about a year ago. I decided to keep a log of them so I could share them with people at parties who had real jobs so I'd have something cool to say and seem interesting.

-Nicole

Blargging.

Hello. We are Aaron and Nicole. We deal with the woes of customer service all day long. We split time at the front desk of a radio station, each working just 20 hours a week. This part-time set up does little to diminish the possibilities of the crazy, however. It's true: most of the time this job is darn sweet. Free coffee, the keeping of expired prizes, and sometimes live entertainment and free food. But humanity prevails, which often results in spectacular tales of rage, pain and unbelievable hilarity.

These are those tales.

Aaron and Nicole