So Nicole and I received notice that our final day at the front desk will December 31st, 2009. We were told at the beginning of the week but the official email is being sent out today, Friday. Specifically "late" Friday.
I can't say I'm especially worked up about the whole thing. Answering phones, refilling creamers, and buzzing doors is not something to which one gets especially attached. But most of the people were pretty cool. Most. Anyway. Being unemployed is no big deal. I've done it before and considering the recession and everything no employer really frowns on the fact you've been cashing Unemployment Checks. What I am NOT looking forward to is the frowns and the sympathy and the "what on earth will you do's" that I know I will get from every single employee who passes through this lobby from now until the end of the year.
In perhaps the greatest status shift since I arrived at this job, the person responsible for the decision will not look me in the eye. Coward.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
You May Have Already Won
In case you've ever wondered what happens when you win a prize at a radio station allow me to pull back the curtain on this elusive mystery and enlighten you with the thrilling details.
You will recieve a phone call from Promotions, probably from an intern or an employee who only works a few hours a week, informing you that you won. They will tell you to come down to the station so you can pick up your prize and fill out a little bit of paperwork (picture ID required).
You will recieve a phone call from Promotions, probably from an intern or an employee who only works a few hours a week, informing you that you won. They will tell you to come down to the station so you can pick up your prize and fill out a little bit of paperwork (picture ID required).
And now allow me to answer your questions before you ask them.
No, if you didn't receive a phone call or an email, I'm sorry but you didn't win. Surprisingly, Promotions doesn't spend a lot of time contacting to tell them they lost a contest.
No, we don't need all that paperwork. We just like watching you fill it out. Are you kidding me? Besides, it's only 2 pages!?! Basically you're signing a contract that says you're receiving the prize and you're now responsible for it. Oh, and that you won't sue us. That and a W-9 for tax purposes.
No, we're not going to make you pay taxes on a prize. The government is going to make you pay taxes on a prize. And only if you win $600 worth of prizes in the course of a year. So you'd have to win $50 in prizes per month to be forced to pay taxes. Most prizes are DVD's or a pair of concert tickets and you're only allowed to win once every 30 days with any given station so it's pretty tough to do. Don't get me wrong people still do it. It's just that you have to really try to win $600 worth of prizes in the course of a year.
Yes, we really need your social security number. It's for the IRS paperwork you're filling out right now.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Quote of the Day
A listener calls to voice their dissatisfaction regarding the new program lineup.
"I'm trying to think of a more eloquent way to say this... but I can't. You guys are trippin'."
-Aaron
"I'm trying to think of a more eloquent way to say this... but I can't. You guys are trippin'."
-Aaron
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
EMS on All the Streets
Aaron: [Standard Greeting]
Doc: Yes.
A: [Standard Greeting]
Doc: This is Dr. Schaffer.
A: (very long pause) Ok.
Doc: And I have detected EMS on... well all the streets. In Seattle.
A: All right... I'm afraid I don't know what EMS is.
Doc: Well, I'd be willing to come on TV and explain it.
A: Well, you called a radio station.
Doc: Huh?
A: Only radio stations are located in this building not TV.
Doc: No TV?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Do you have their number?
A: No.
Doc: You don't have their number?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Ok. Sorry to bother you.
(Click.)
The only thing that I could think of that EMS might stand for was Emergency Medical Services, as in ambulances, which if ambulances are on the streets doesn't seem like a big deal or bad thing unless they're transporting people who are sick or injured. But even then those people are getting medical care. But the Doc's tone was one you might use if the zombie apocalypse was starting outside. On a whim I looked up EMS and the only medical things I could find were Electrical Muscle Stimulation (a method of training to complement traditional training), Equine Metabolic Sundrome (which affects horses), and Eosinophili-myalgia (an incurable and sometimes fatal flu-like neurological condition).
Hopefully he's a crackpot and it wasn't that last one.
Doc: Yes.
A: [Standard Greeting]
Doc: This is Dr. Schaffer.
A: (very long pause) Ok.
Doc: And I have detected EMS on... well all the streets. In Seattle.
A: All right... I'm afraid I don't know what EMS is.
Doc: Well, I'd be willing to come on TV and explain it.
A: Well, you called a radio station.
Doc: Huh?
A: Only radio stations are located in this building not TV.
Doc: No TV?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Do you have their number?
A: No.
Doc: You don't have their number?
A: No.
(long pause)
Doc: Ok. Sorry to bother you.
(Click.)
The only thing that I could think of that EMS might stand for was Emergency Medical Services, as in ambulances, which if ambulances are on the streets doesn't seem like a big deal or bad thing unless they're transporting people who are sick or injured. But even then those people are getting medical care. But the Doc's tone was one you might use if the zombie apocalypse was starting outside. On a whim I looked up EMS and the only medical things I could find were Electrical Muscle Stimulation (a method of training to complement traditional training), Equine Metabolic Sundrome (which affects horses), and Eosinophili-myalgia (an incurable and sometimes fatal flu-like neurological condition).
Hopefully he's a crackpot and it wasn't that last one.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
It's Important to Remember Who Sorts the Mail
One of my daily tasks is to sort and deliver mail to designated mail slots. For the most part this is relatively uneventful as most of it is business mail or advertisements. But occasionally personal mail rolls through. This is also typically uneventful; a magazine here, a periodical there, a personal letter every so often. But lately I have noticed a good deal of Victoria's Secret catalogs coming to one person in particular.
Let's call her Victoria.
To be fair to Victoria she's not bad, so it's not weird or gross. But it is intriguing. In absolute, TMI, full disclosure there are a number of cougars who roam the office. Disproportionately than any other workplace I have been in, which makes one wonder about a number of things among them HR. But returning to the subject at hand, I can't help but be very curious about this cat.
Let's call her Victoria.
To be fair to Victoria she's not bad, so it's not weird or gross. But it is intriguing. In absolute, TMI, full disclosure there are a number of cougars who roam the office. Disproportionately than any other workplace I have been in, which makes one wonder about a number of things among them HR. But returning to the subject at hand, I can't help but be very curious about this cat.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Highway to Where?
Aaron: [Standard Greeting.]
Pastor: Hi, yes, I would like to speak to the person in charge of putting the music on the radio?
A: Excuse me?
P: Who is in charge of your music? The Music Director?
A: Ok, what is this regarding?
P: The song Highway to Hell was played.
A: All right.
P: And I am offended.
A: Ok.
P: I'm a pastor and my son was singing the song when I picked him up from school. He was with another family and they went to a pizza place. He heard your song somewhere. And now he's singing it.
A: Ok, well I'm not sure what to tell you.
P: I'm a Christian. You understand? This song offends me. I don't want my son singing it. Or listening to your music.
A: Alright, well, I suppose you would want to speak the Program Director (this is true) but they are in a meeting (not true) but I can put you through to her voicemail (also true).
P: Ok. Let's do that. But I am offended.
Pastor: Hi, yes, I would like to speak to the person in charge of putting the music on the radio?
A: Excuse me?
P: Who is in charge of your music? The Music Director?
A: Ok, what is this regarding?
P: The song Highway to Hell was played.
A: All right.
P: And I am offended.
A: Ok.
P: I'm a pastor and my son was singing the song when I picked him up from school. He was with another family and they went to a pizza place. He heard your song somewhere. And now he's singing it.
A: Ok, well I'm not sure what to tell you.
P: I'm a Christian. You understand? This song offends me. I don't want my son singing it. Or listening to your music.
A: Alright, well, I suppose you would want to speak the Program Director (this is true) but they are in a meeting (not true) but I can put you through to her voicemail (also true).
P: Ok. Let's do that. But I am offended.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I Had This Conversation at the Urinals
DJ: How's the front desk, Aaron?
Aaron: Fine. A lot of people calling without anything to say.
DJ: Same thing on the Request Line.
(Flush.)
It's comforting to know (in perhaps a sympathetic way) that the stupidity of humanity permeates the lives of those who deal with the public without special discretion.
Aaron: Fine. A lot of people calling without anything to say.
DJ: Same thing on the Request Line.
(Flush.)
It's comforting to know (in perhaps a sympathetic way) that the stupidity of humanity permeates the lives of those who deal with the public without special discretion.
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